Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Farewell for Now?

Today I'm moving from heartache to a little PO'd, just a spoiler in case you want to skip this post. I told myself I would write with total honesty about the process and my feelings, by tomorrow I'll have my Mickey Mojo back, but today I'm trying to get it out.

What to do when your blog is about the process, and you are rejected? Just pick up all the little pieces of your broken heart, stop the blog, move on? How easy to write that, how hard to put it action. Yesterday after reading the rejection, and yes, no matter how they try to pixie dust the response, it is still a rejection.  The consolation prize has never really appealed to me. I've never even gotten the cute stuff everyone else seems to get. You'd think they could figure out a database that could handle a mailing list, I know I'm not the only one that never gets the goodies. The special events sound like fun, but hello I live in New Mexico! Who gets to attend? Moms who live local. What I would give to live local!!!!!!! Dream come true. I read the newsletter once, but I want to be a WDW planner, I don't want to read tips, I want to be giving them.

My heart ached all day, I didn't tell my family until today, because I didn't want to cry and have their hearts break for me. Today I feel sad, but a little annoyed, both at myself and Disney. I look at people who I know are moving on and can't figure out what they have that I don't have. I think that is what drives me crazy about this whole process is that I might not even fit a demographic that will ever lead to an opportunity to be on the DMP.  If someone could tell me that living 1800 miles from Disney or being too old, or having kids that aren't little anymore, or not photogenic enough, it would keep me from attempting this again. I could just forget about it! But I look at those possible negatives as reasons I'd be great!
  • Every trip to WDW,  we look at as a "once in a lifetime trip", costs a fortune anymore to fly from NM, so we stay at least 8-9 days, sometimes two weeks, because it might be our last trip, with the economy you just never know! So even though 1800 miles away seems like a long way away to truly experience WDW, we've been a dozen times, makes us truly Disney fanatics to everyone we know.
  • Come on, 49 is the new 39! I have more time and energy now than 10 years ago when my kids were little!
  • My girls are teenagers, so it's true they aren't little and adorable anymore, many days big and annoying, but growing up with an annual WDW trip has given me experience with toddlers to teens. I would think that would be a huge positive, unlike applicants that only have little people.
  • I'm sure I would have looked way cuter with professional lighting and makeup people! I have potential:)
I just would like someone to step up and say, you really need to live on the East coast or Midwest(UK or Canada), truthfully NM is never going to be represented on the DMP. I can't figure out why it would matter, but the geographic breakdown on the past boards and the current round three applicants, points to a bias, I can answer questions via the computer from anywhere! Maybe they want "moms" who can drive down and be a representative at events, there's a 4 hour non-stop Albuquerque-Orlando flight! Really I can get there as fast as the drivers! If I knew, I would save myself this pain, but I'm sure such things are never said out loud, probably some discrimination issues.

Annoyed at myself for getting carried away again, even after the dumb video, I still thought I had a chance. I think I am smart, funny, hard working and have tons of Disney experience and the time to give to the job. I have always been a high achiever, I've gotten every job I wanted! That's probably why this drives me crazy, I just can't figure out what they want!

I can hear the dialogue in my head telling me to not apply next year(sounds a whole lot like the voices I heard last year!), and then the voices will dim and then change to "apply, apply,apply". I probably will apply next year,but I have to stay off of the Dis, ok maybe an occasional peak, but it just gets me all wound up and overly invested. Somehow I need to send myself a note next September telling me to take it easy, just apply like a job and wait for the emails. Not check the computer constantly for a month! Get a life! It's so funny that with the exception of this one thing, I am the organized type-A person that everybody in every aspect of my life counts on.

I guess I need to reevaluate the blog, hmmmmmmm. This is the last blog on the DMP process, at least until next year:)

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